Saturday, January 23, 2010

For Colored Girls who have just had ENOUGH period

Whew! Third entry of the night! I am on a ROLL.

Thinking for content, I remembered a conversation I had with an old classmate of mine about Color Complexes, currently one of my favorite conversations to have with people now. Genuinely, I am just curious to see if anyone will honestly admit to having a Color Complex. 

We talked for a while, and you cannot have a conversation about Color Complexes without making reference to two to the countries most infamous and fabled color survey's: The Paperbag Test and the Doll Test. 

You know the tests! The one if your not the shade of a paperbag or lighter, you're considered too dark. Or the one studying which doll children are more likely to play with; a black doll or a white doll. 

But enough about that, google them if you want to know more.

Anyway, As you can see, I am a Chocolate girl, and my classmate, he is a Chocolate boy, who to my surprise (yes, I was shocked when he said...) he LOVES Dark-skinned women. In my lifetime, Chocolate/Chocolate relationships were HARD to come by. You almost didnt see them. Like it was taboo to bring home such a person...that is unless you are lighter!

I can honestly say that I never had a Color Complex, but if you look at my current relationship you would think I was lying because...Taa Daa, he is light-skinned. Hey, shit happens right? Right. And because of that damned Color Complex, every relationship I had was of the same result. Dark-skinned me...Light-skinned Boy. They were the only ones interested in me. Believe it or not, not many light-skinned men like light-skinned women. Why? I do not know. Not all of them though, just a few. 

A boy in high school told me, "I dont like dark-skinned girls, but your pretty." Gee, well Thank You!

But I am not bitter. I've had several great long-term relationships because of my one-sided situation. But you know what, I blame the institution of slavery from messing our minds up until this day.

The House Negro/Field Negro complex arises. Lighter blacks in the house doing lesser chores. Dark-skinned blacks doing all the strenuous work. That led to mama's wanting to have lighter children to save them from a early death in the field. And hundreds of years later, we've carried that notion onto our current relationships.

My argument is this: if you have a Color Complex, let it be an honest PREFERENCE, not a racially tinged decision based on years of negativity. Like/LOVE someone for what they are. Not a skin tone. Like/LOVE them because of how they make you feel, not because she/he has nice hair, or you'll make "pretty light-skinned babies." Like/LOVE someone because you like their nappy, kinky hair or because every time you see him/her you want a Hershey Chocolate bar. 

All I am saying is, know your preferences because if I ask you this question, and your answer starts with, "Ummm, I never thought about it like that," it means you have.

1 comment:

  1. I like this Jo. You know this is one of my favorite topics. I feel its okay to like what you like or like who you like. But dont like that person for the wrong reasons. And never just like a certain physical feature cause while you chasing the yellow red greens and purple people. Your soul mate could be a orange person. But i likey-yas